I didn’t realize how jealous I was. I didn’t realize how much I want what you have. I hate that I don’t think I’ll ever get there.
Thoughts on our education system, and how it harms...
I recognize that I have been and am lucky. I recognize that the particular intelligences I have are particularly well geared toward success in our education system. I recognize that I have parents who had the skills, time, financial ability, and desire to support my education in pretty much every way possible for a kid growing up in rural Maine. I recognize that I had a few amazing teachers who...
You can take your gay gene. I don’t want it, I don’t need it. My identities are not “natural” facts about me over which I have no control, but rather are radical acts of creation through self description.
Someone explain to me why I have to bottom out into mental places and actions that scare the shit out of me in order to deal with my feelings. Because I’m exceedingly not okay with what I did on Friday, but I feel like I purged all the feelings that were making me miserable in the process. All the repetitious thoughts about my ex have subsided and for the first time in months I think I might...
I hate myself for being like this. I hate that I’m being so needy. I hate that I can’t get over you. I hate that I don’t want to get over you. I don’t hate you. And I don’t really hate my feelings for you. I just. I don’t want to be that person who can’t let things go and who’s so demanding of your time and energy. I want to talk to you so much but...
Night is when I miss you most. Maybe it’s because there’s a comforting feeling of invisibility in the dark that makes it easier to think and feel big things. Maybe it’s just because I’m alone and without distractions. It makes sense though. So many of the little things I miss most about our relationship are tied to nighttime. I miss visiting each other at work, even if it...
Clearly I am still in love with you because any kind of communication just makes me giddy and excited. And it’s not even a sex thing because all I want is to cuddle up and talk and watch movies and be around you. I don’t know what this means for us when I come back. I don’t know if you’ll still feel like we can’t be together. But I do know that I can’t wait to...
On Gender Neutral Pronouns
So. I’ve been thinking about gender neutral pronouns lately. Like, a lot. The past seven or eight months have been crazy in term of gender for me. I just. I started thinking about it a lot more than I ever had about fifteen months ago (for a variety of reasons that I’m not going to go into, mostly because they involve another person who I don’t want to talk about on here since...
So the other day (when I should have been doing homework) I watched Miss Representation. In case you haven’t heard about it, it’s a new documentary discussing the treatment and representation of women in the media and the effects this has on attitudes toward, and aspirations of, girls and women in US culture. You can watch the trailer here or watch the full film (as it was aired on...
This is largely prompted by this post, although I’ve thought about this topic before. I went to school in a pretty conservative area (Northern Maine is not the liberal enclave you envision when you think of New England). A few conservative Christian churches had a heavy influence on what was permissible, culturally and academically, in the schools, and my health teacher was a member of one...
So. You may have noticed my Twilight liveblog last night. If you’ve been on today you may also have noticed my conversation with a Twilight fan about the creepiness of Carlisle. All this has gotten me thinking about Twilight, the messages it contains and the fervor of its fans. By now we’ve all heard the arguments against Twilight: how it teaches young girls that their happiness is...
I was super aware of the lack of queer couples tonight, for some reason. I was at a concert in this little bar/cafe thing and I could see out the windows from where I was standing. I just felt unable to stop noticing that all the couples that walked by were (to my eyes) straight. Now, obviously, I don’t know how these people identify, so there may very well have been queer couples that...
Just to re-articulate my reasons for this blog
This is my ~personal blog, where I’ll be making more serious, usually longer, posts about topics that I feel don’t fit with the more casual feel of my main blog. Although it’s password-protected, an important element for my own processing of thoughts and experiences is the feeling that other people are experiencing my thoughts. So feel free to comment/respond to anything, my ask...